1. Draw a diagram of Euler — Venn
To stand up and draw a Venn diagram is a good way to look smart. Doesn’t matter if the chart is not very accurate — in fact, than it was rougher the better. Even before you are able to place a marker on the place, your colleagues will start to argue about what it should be signed and how big you need to draw circles. At this point you can glide back in his chair and continue playing Candy Crush on your phone.
2. Translate interest in shares of the
If someone says “About 25% of all users click on this button”, you must quickly jump in to say that “around one quarter”. And mark this down on a Notepad. All nod, agreeing, secretly impressed by your rapid mathematical skills.
3. Convince everyone to “step back”
In every match there comes a time when all participate in the conversation except you. Opinions, facts and important ideas are thrown here and there, and you can’t figure your CTA from your OTA. And this is the perfect moment to say: “guys, Guys, can you step back?”. All is turned to you, admiring your ability to turn down the fight. Now quickly say: “What exactly are we trying to achieve?”. And here it is! You got yourself the opportunity to look smart for another hour.
4. A long nod, pretending to take notes
Always carry a notebook. Your rejection of technology will honor. Take notes, simply by writing one word from each sentence which you hear. At the same nod without stopping. If anyone asks you about it, quickly tell me, what is your personal notes, and someone else needs to outline the meeting entirely. Bravo compadre. You saved his ass, and did additional work. Or any work at all, if you reach a certain skill level.
5. Repeat the last thing said to a programmer, but very very slow
Mentally take note of the developer who is in the room. Remember his name. For almost the entire meeting, he will be silent, but when it comes time to speak, everything he says is a brilliant source of wisdom. After he utters these divine words, clintes with “Let me repeat it,” and repeat exactly what he said, but very, very slowly. Now his brilliant wisdom and passed them to you. People, remembering this meeting, the error will be attributed to this brilliant saying to you.
6. Ask the question “Will it scale?” regardless of what’s on the agenda
It is very important to find out whether the growing scale — no matter what is discussed. No one actually knows what that means, but it is a good comprehensive question that is always suited to the situation and displays a bit of developers from themselves.
7. Raskazivat the room
When someone gets up from the table and begins to walk in circles, don’t you instantly respect him? Of course, Yes. It requires considerable courage, but once you do, you will look smarter. Fold the arms in. Raskazivat around the room. Go to the corner and lean against the wall. Take a deep, contemplative breath. Believe me, everything will succumb in trying to understand what you think. Oh, if they knew about bacon.
8. Ask the speaker to return to the previous slide, please
These words do not want to hear any one speaker. No matter what time of the presentation you will deliver, it will instantly make it clear that you watch the performance closely than the others, because they definitely missed the very thing that you are going brilliantly to specify. There is no such thing? Just say something like: “Not sure what these numbers represent,” and sit down. You just got yourself like a smart man that will last throughout the meeting.
9. Go to call
Probably you are afraid to leave the room, because I think that people will think you don’t consider the meeting important. However, oddly enough if you go for the “important” call, they will realize how you are important and busy man. They will say: “Wow, this meeting is very important, and if he has some more important things, better let’s not disturb him”.
10. Laugh at yourself
If someone asks what you think — and you, let’s be honest, a deaf ear to everything that was done in the last hour, just say: “to be honest, I have not heard a word of what was discussed over the past hour.” People love self-deprecating humor. Say something like “Perhaps we can turn to the lawyers who do my divorce”, or “GD, I wish I died”. They’ll laugh, value your honesty, think about going to HR, but what is most important, think that you are the smartest person in the room.